PONDERING UPON A LONG STORY MADE SHORT

by Aleixo Nuss Oliveira

Aleixo in London, Saturday, August 28th, 2010.

After a long and tiring trip started in Rio de Janeiro, I and Regina arrived safely and without any problem at our Indian YMCA hostel in Central London. It seems that we were not the type of persons they like to screen up to grant entry, only our passports were necessary and the only question was “have you been here before?”, I confirmed… I had lived and studied in London many “years ago” and he just remarked: I thought so… that was all, I felt good, and we went for our baggage.

Things have changed a lot in the old U.K., we can notice at a start. London has improved much in some ways, lots of new and modern buildings, traffic and pedestrian orientation signs and so on. But Englishmen have lost a lot of their identity, a multicultural mix is here to stay, one way or another we must learn to accept sharing our spaces wherever we are. Here in London this is as clear as it could be, for it’s hard to believe that the real English citizens can cope with it as it appears they are doing, I have to congratulate them for such state of heart. The variety of accents is just amazing, RP English, forget... I reckon this is a new world trend and we can’t help it, considering nothing is perennial. Some nations try to keep, by force, a permanent maintenance of old principles, even languagewise, but the overall pressurized tendencies sooner or later break any barriers, this has happened times and times over the centuries and now globalisation does the rest...

But, let’s go on to what I am here for, “I am not here only for the beer”. Just one night in London was enough to bring to light a lot of nearly forgotten self questionings, those old feelings came afresh to my mind. Unresolved dreams, decisions, decisions, I then reconcile with myself: “you can’t change the past, but you can change the future”. London, no doubts, brings me new hopes and wishes to live, a kind of push forward energy, eagerness to produce something, whatever it may possibly be.

This is my third time in London. The other two times I had the options to stay or to leave, but, with one foot in and one foot out, my decision was to leave, for some force I consider useless

I had to make the choice. Thanks to this decision I have two precious descendants. But even so this has made me dream, till now, to be somewhere else, still insecure, always going through some sort of difficulties, with only one difference: I am not alone in it, now a new road has been taken, Regina, my dear and loved wife.Dreams, what are they? A distorted reality? A kind of conscience mix up? All taken in, I am certain that I have very little to regret despite all I have done throughout my life.

Now so many questions come in and go out of my mind: Roads taken and not taken depend only on the moment we make such decisions? Would there be a universal force compelling us to make this or that decision, so that our destinies may be accomplished? If I had stayed in Australia, South Africa, Portugal or England how would my life be today?

I must confess that I believe that God has a finger in our destinies. The persons I love so much today wouldn’t be here with me if those decisions made years ago weren’t made. Yes, roads taken and not taken have to be God’s will or whatever of this sort that was set for us.